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There's definately a lot

Gratis bloggen bei

the ranking

i guess i turns out there is one - what a surprise!
so, where to begin with...

lera: i just like her simple way of communication. she talks if she likes to and keeps it mostly on small-talk level. its okay, caus e she is very friendly and i cant sense anything bad about her.

irine: its like a look in the mirror in some way. sometimes very soothing, sometimes scary and good for one or two shivers. i like her all the way through, though...

julia: the princess. i´m not nuts when i feel her boredom and dismotivation concerning me through the things she writes or better through everything she doesnt write. she does not like being kept waiting but she lets you down in the middle of a conversation. being honest isnt her strength and she is very egocentric in some wicked way i can hardly explain. she´s carrying some traits i hated my last girl for, so i guess its time to cut that damn thing off. dont want to feel this bullshit again...

i´ll do my best to keep the other two girls with me but i´ll leave the relation to julia behind.
not dead yet
but soon to be

29.8.12 23:57



lera - still dont know much about her.


julia - likes my way of speaking and likes american dad even more. maybe shouldn´t be that hard to myself, but i seem to suck in conversation.


irine - she´s still what she was: a soul like mine and an amazing girl. even more now...


so, good question: is there a ranking?

11.8.12 01:13


its theses girls that make me write again...

damn, i dont even know where they came from when they blasted me right out of my shoes. i still dont really know what to think or feel about them so i decided to revive these old piece of shit here.

lera... i still know very few about her. she´s pretty just like the others but also has some little roughness about her. got the feeling that she´ll do what she wants to, no matter what you say. if you´re not with her she´s a hell of a pretty "fuck you".


julia... well, she´s very interesting. i know more about her than about lera but it still isn´t much. i know that she´s an owl (the prettiest i´ve ever seen) and therefore likes to stay up late. i wasn´t surprised about her model-career, although you cant really call it that way. it´s impressive, that someone that talented (and of course blessed in some way) chooses a different and more complicated way in life. i like talking to her more and more and she teaches me in the russian language again. i´m not really sure if i can cope with that, but, hell, i´ll try!


and irine... i just dont know what to say.

what - a - girl!

at first i just thought, that i might know her way of expression.

then i realized, that she is far more than just an awefully gorgeous shell.damn, this girl goes deeper than i thought she could ever be.

and now she is everything i always wanted to do and be. and, fuck, she´s just like me! seems to be the answer to so many questions that troubled me for so bloody long...

her smile kills me.

it´s absolutely insane that one single smile of her is capable of washing away just evereything. like it would be the only thing left in a whole world...

once in a lifetime - this is what she is

and so goddamn fuck it - belarus; what a distance! how should something like this ever work? when will i see her the first time?

i promised her to take her to a korn-concert and place her on top of the crowd. for my own bloody sake, i will make this happen! i guess we´re some kind of soulmates and even if i can´t keep her with me i will soak the moment in as deep as i can when she finally smiles at me. just once in a lifetime...

9.8.12 04:31

bloody weak

blast, i don´t wanna be like that. i´m fuckin weak and my lack of self control drives me nuts! i hate this state of being helplessly delivered to my feelings. they make me drown, again and again.

but i like her, no matter what price i pay...

23.2.11 16:38

little red

i don´t like that.

little red has to piss me off, no matter what she does. and she doesn´t even realize it, not to think of some bloody calming words to let me know she cares.

is this how i expected my new girl to be like?

sorry girl, you better learn fast...

22.2.11 23:57


god, what´s wrong...

don´t know what´s going on, but i´m back to the little confused boy again. insecure for some reason and i don´t want to be like this

don´t want to be weak



why is it the fucking fool everyone  paints on my forehead?

why do i have to be like this?

why do i have to lose?

why can´t i be fucking normal...


i hate this

really fucking hate this...

11.9.10 21:08


not the only thing

but the one i just understood


3 Doors Down - Kryptonite


I took a walk around the world
To ease my troubled mind
I left my body lying somewhere
In the sands of time
But I watched the world float
To the dark side of the moon

I feel there's nothing I can do

I watched the world float
To the dark side of the moon
After all I knew it had to be
Something to do with you
I really don’t mind what happens now and then
As long as you’ll be my friend at the end

If I go crazy then will you still
Call me Superman
If I’m alive and well, will you be
There holding my hand
I’ll keep you by my side
With my superhuman might, kryptonite

You called me strong, you called me weak
But still your secrets I will keep
You took for granted all the times
I never let you down.You stumbled
in and bumped your head, and if not
for me then you'd be dead

I picked you up and put you back
On solid ground

If I go crazy then will you still
Call me Superman
If I’m alive and well
Will you be there a-holding my hand
I’ll keep you by my side
With my superhuman might, kryptonite

28.8.10 04:14

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